Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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