SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
