we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
