Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I murdered the dance floor call the cops

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA

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(301): View more from Maryland

you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.

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(630): View more from Illinois

bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.

(716): View more from New York

i dont this its possible to queef on command.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now

(503): View more from Oregon

Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea

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(307): View more from Wyoming

we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.

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