Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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