she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
They have beer where we have blood.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
