when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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