I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
