Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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