When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
