My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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