i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
