sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
