i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
