After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
