So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
