I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
