I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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