At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
