I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
