it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
