He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
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I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
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It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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