yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize