i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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