Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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