trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
