Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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