his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
