this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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