and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
