I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
