I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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