he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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