I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
