I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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