I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
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My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
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Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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