Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
