dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
