this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize