One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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