Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
