Bisexual people are plain selfish.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
