OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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