I want to make a zoo with you.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
