Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You dont lie about slip and slides
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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