Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
