Pappa wants mamma naked
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
