Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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