Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
