is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
