I heard we made out
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
