ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
