i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
