it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
