As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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