): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Alive.
So much puke
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
