9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
