Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I faked an abortion last night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
