i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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