A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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