if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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