The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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